Naughty chat with profile

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We're talking snake-ball-biting odds of you getting laid when you ask these questions so fast.

It's transparent and lazy, and makes us assume you're not someone who is concerned about stuff like consent or whether the other person actually enjoys sex.

If she does not say as much IN A CLEAR AND AFFIRMATIVE WAY, leave her be. It's so damn hard to find the two-headed dragon of enthusiastic consent and availability.

What you guys have to go through when not getting head or being senators is truly terrible.

It's another if he freaks out at the prospect of you being within a 20-mile radius of his home.15. Either he has low self-esteem, doesn't care about pictures, or that picture is not at all indicative of him.

You shouldn't be one to judge a book by its cover, obviously, but if he's actively trying to deceive people, that says a lot about his personality.

I'm going to try to get you laid, but I'm also going to save you from being exploited in screen-shot by some tiresome social media personality.

Here's how to properly trawl for sex on Tinder.

It seems like every day there's a new form of online dating.

If she gives the incontrovertible thumbs-up, suggest something like vaguely cordial meeting for a drink. Not a handy or boudoir shots or anything like that.

If she doesn't want a drink and just wants to get straight to roleplaying "Foxcatcher" on your futon, she will say as much!

No matter what type of relationship you're looking for — from the forever kind to the friends-with-benefits kind — there's an app for that!

I've been hearing my girlfriends discuss their wins and losses with a variety of online-dating phone apps, so I'm breaking down the newest means of tech-based courtship.

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