Dating advice teenage guys
So as a therapist, I have a lot of conversations around those topics. How do feelings feed into those relationship dynamics?
One of the ways that parents can use the book is to give them ideas for how to start conversations.
I’m Audrey Hamilton and this is Speaking of Psychology. Andrew Smiler: That’s a great question and they absolutely want more information than what they’re getting.
Andrew Smiler is a therapist and writer living in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Smiler is the author of the new book “Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy,” which is published by the American Psychological Association. First off, we know that only about half of American teens get any kind of sexuality education in their middle schools or high schools.
I know some mothers say, well, should I be having this conversation with my son? Or what if I’m a single mom and I don’t have a husband around to help talk to my son about these issues?
I’m not sure what your patients, your young patients say about that, but how do you address those types of difficult conversations?
He co-authored the book “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the Stereotype of the Promiscuous Young Male.” Smiler is an associate editor (2015-2016) of the APA journal Audrey Hamilton: The sex talk is never an easy conversation.
In this episode, we speak with a psychologist about what most guys are really thinking and how that challenges masculine stereotypes. Audrey Hamilton: So, the common assumption about teen boys is that sex is all they think about, right? But there seems to be very little discussion out there about how to talk to boys about sex – romantic relationships. How do they juggle all that’s being thrown at them?
This makes a lot of sense if you look at into the media content that’s geared toward teenage boys and compared to what’s geared toward teenage girls. If you look at shows that typically have female audiences, whether we’re talking “90210” or “Gilmore Girls” or “Pretty Little Liars,” that’s a substantial part of the conversation. As a therapist, what are some of the most common questions you get about dating and sex?
If you’re watching shows or your sons are watching shows like “The Sweet Life of Zach and Cody” or if they’re watching “Harold and Kumar” or even the Avengers movies –there’s never any point in there where the guys actually talk about how relationships work. And I’m also curious how parents can use this book as a way to talk with their sons about this?
Andrew Smiler: I’m going to start with the parent piece of that one.
One of the things the research tells us – I certainly see this as a therapist – is that boys want information from someone that they can trust.